Hamam

So, I had nothing planned today. Nothing! Just to finish my project and start studying for my Natural Language Processing final.

So, around 1pm when my professor emailed me to tell me that I have a final tomorrow, Laura also emailed me. She wanted to go to a hamam before she left, so I agreed to go with her.

We wandered around Ulus a bit. We asked for help, and were told that we were standing right in front of the Şengül Merkez Hamamı - the one we wanted. We entered and were ushered to a room where we undressed. I had worn a swimsuit this time, sweet! We left the room, sort of confused (we didn't know where to go). All the women in the entryroom laughed at us. Such is life, stupid yabancılar!

So, a woman ushered us into the hot baths, where we were supposed to sit by a sink and poor hot water over ourselves for 5-10 minutes (there was a girl there who spoke a bit of German, and she was really useful). While Laura was in another room getting scrubbed down, I started having a little difficulty breathing (the hamam air is hot and heavy with water). But just in time I was taken to the other room to be scrubbed as well.

The washroom was much cooler. I was basically scrubbed with a brillo pad, and the washlady pointed out the rolls of dead skin being scrubbed off of me. Yum.

Just as I was feeling better, I had to sit up and get my face scrubbed. I began to "brown out" so I stuck my head between my knees. The washladies noticed my condition and began pouring cold water on me. Considering I was overheating, the cold water felt good, but it also threw my body into a sort of mini-shock.

The older washlady decided I should get out of the hot bath. It would have been a good idea, had I been ready to stand up. I thought I was, but as soon as I turned the corner I knew I wasn't. My sight browned out, then my hearing went funny. I leaned against the wall and passed out.

I was immediately thrown into some deep dream. I don't remember what it was about, but I remember I completely and totally forgot what was happening. When I woke up, I still couldn't see, but I could hear a bunch of foreign female voices. I thought, "Where the fuck am I?" and my sight returned and I remembered.

I was in the outer room, sitting in a chair. It must have been quite a feat for these tiny Turkish women to drag me out there (think Gulliver and the Liliputians). A teaspoon full of sugar was shoved into my mouth.

So, as soon as I was somewhat conscious, they dragged me back into the changing room where I threw myself on the bed, and they threw two towels on me. Laura came in and said, "Are you okay?" Apparently, she missed my full 15 seconds of unconsciousness.

We got dressed and paid. I apparently missed 3 lira worth of a massage, but made up for it by tipping my washwoman 10 lira (that's a heck of a lot!). I felt it was only right, seeing as I went unconscious and all. Then we walked our way through Ulus and caught a cab (we both had dinner plans, and would've missed them had we taken a dolmuş- or rather, had we taken the metro to Kızılay, and then taken a dolmuş).

I was quite alright after that. Excited and energized, even.

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Nothing says Turkey quite like being dragged around unconscious and half naked in a hamam.